Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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