i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
