Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
