I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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