Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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