You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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