babies were throwing up all over the place
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
