whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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