i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
