I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
