Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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