I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
