And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
