I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize