um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
