Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
