Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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