is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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