Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
