Heybabeimwearingurpanties
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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