ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I've blown a few things in my day
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i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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