She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
