i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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