dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize