You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
