glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
