Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
