who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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