I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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