you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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