He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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