she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
