You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
