she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
