Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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