i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
