but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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