I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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