It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
