am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
