Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
