could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize