I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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