When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
