You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
