Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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