I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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