Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
