Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize