and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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