So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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