The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We have started to decorate penises.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize