you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
