Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize