Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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