"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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