I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
