My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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