There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
