3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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