To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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