The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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