the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
