i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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